This week has been pretty insightful. Yes, I was pushed to my breaking point, the edge of the cliff, watching the rocks slip away beneath my feet. The funny thing is I really don’t see any bad in this situation anymore. I do have a shit load of assignments to do. I’ve go to finish planning my summer. But I like it, keeps me on my toes. In these stess-filled, eyelash-plucking, grind-your-teeth kind of moments, unexpectedly, they sometimes turn out to be some of the most awe-inspiring. It made me simplify my life, yet put back the adventure I somehow lost in this process of living
Maybe I’m addicted to the suspense of it all. Sue me.
I tried to be your angel Protect and love you I flew in a haze To get to your side I saw the good When the bad smacked me in the face I didn’t turn my cheek Instead I embraced it I sang you lullabies to put you to sleep I tried to kiss you with innocence I chased you Tried to make you/ an adventure I wrote you But my ink was invisible I tried to be nice And made sure I was always near Straight forward, cut and dry, clear I wanted happiness for you But like an angel I couldn’t be seen My voice as noticeable as the wind And my touch, a light breeze I hoped you could feel my presence I hoped you could see my eyes But you walked right through me And I could never be surprised And I just wished you would say Say something that would save me From this fate This fate of being Your angel
This statement has deviously infiltrated my conversational speech. I find myself picking up my house phone saying these exact words, catching myself in the sinful act. The monotony of my work, you think, would be conducive to my learning. Having all the time in the world to get my homework done working in a tutoring center and all, yet it is not so. Not so at all. The low, trying-to-be-quiet, but not succeeding kind-of-whisper is still prevalent, like the buzzing of a lawnmower. The ever insistent students. The lights, my chair, all the employees, the overall boredom. All these things encouraging my mind to drift in to my days of Math 140, penetrating into my once peaceful mind, as I hear tutors talking about Z- scores and levels of uncertainty. Help me, please.
This blog shall only consist of the truth. I won’t make shit up to make myself sounds cool, that’s not my style. I’ll describe as vividly as my vocabulary will allow, not over exaggerate. It will be the discovery of what exists in the world that needs no lavishness to be beautiful. It will be my safe haven for thoughts, opinions, jokes, quotes, dreams, joys, sadnesses, and pains. It will be limitless, exploring the darkest and most vibrant corners of truth. No shame shall arise in thoughts that are true. Believe in beauty, and remember… Always Verity.